


Wash Regrets His Big Mouth

by neddietrix



Category: Red vs Blue
Genre: Headcanon, wash you and your big mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2064033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neddietrix/pseuds/neddietrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a headcanon post I made recently regarding Agent Washington's age. </p><p>Also he should learn to watch his mouth it could really get him into trouble one of these days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wash Regrets His Big Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my own headcanons of Agent Washington and shit...yeeeah okay here we go.

When David was sixteen he had petitioned the courts of Washington State to release him from the foster programme. After weeks of waiting his petition went through and he moved out of his latest foster home. It wasn't long before he dropped out of high school and signed up for the military. He signed his forms as David Washington and filled in his birthday so he was twenty-three not a little kid. 

The ruse had worked and he was sent off to basic training. He trained hard and for hours, his superiors were interested in his dedication to army life, and always made note of his superb performance on the training grounds and in the field. He was dubbed a natural and told he would go far in the path he had chosen.

It went like that for two years, he just been promoted to lieutenant when he had been found out. Some CO in some base had noticed the paperwork he had for his civilian life didn't add up to his military admission papers. He was arrested by the military police and was sent to a court martial hearing for forging his documents. 

Thats how he found himself, eighteen years old and about to be sent to prison. Great.

“Lieutenant Washington, we have gone over the evidence and have come to a conclu-” The old officer that was about to sentence him to his fate of jail was interrupted by the door to the court room bursting open and a dark haired man strolled in. David didn't know if you could use the word ‘swaggered’ to really define something, but this man definitely did just that. 

“Gentlemen,” he greeted them all in a deep southern accent, it sounded like honey laced with cyanide to David’s ears. “Good afternoon, I’m here for the Lieutenant if you’d be so inclined to excuse us I am on a very tight schedule today.” 

“Excuse me, I don't know who you think you are and how you got in here but the Lieutenant is being court martialed! He falsified government documents and needs to answer for that!” One of the old men argued, obviously annoyed with new man. 

“I am aware of the situation, but I find it quite a waste of such potential this young man has. So I’ve already taken the liberty of entering him into my programme. Now if you’ll excuse us, come along Lieutenant.” David fought the urge to lean away from the sharp green eyes that turned to him from behind those glasses. He was sure he could take the newcomer in a fight but the aura of the man was almost suffocating in its overwhelming command. So he did the next best thing and shot to his feet and hurried after him out of the courtroom. 

They walked in silence and their shoes filled the empty hallway with noise, David didn't even know who this guy was or why he was so ready to follow him. “Probably because your other option was a nice private jail cell.” his brain immediately supplied and he fought back a sigh. 

“Uh..sir? Can I ask where we’re going?” he might as well try and figure out what he willingly walked into now. 

“You may, and we are going to the base of my programme. Which you are now a part of, Lieutenant.” The southern man answered him in a precise manner and never even glanced at him. 

“Which programme is that exactly?” He received a glare at that and added a ‘Sir’ to placate the man. They had exited the building a were heading towards an airship that he assumed would take them to the base. 

“Project Freelancer, Lieutenant. Your new home.” They boarded the ship and strapped in, when they were both secure another man came out of the cockpit and sat next to the southerner. He held a tablet in his dark and and he smiled softly at David. 

“Hello Lieutenant. I am the Counselor, if you have any questions please feel free to ask me.” If the first man sounded like honey and cyanide, this man sounded like sugar and chloroform. It unnerved him a bit, like he was being spoken to like he was some frightened cornered animal. It made him feel a bit paranoid that something was going to go wrong very quickly. 

“Hello, sir. I was just wondering where we’re going.” His first question made the Counselor glance sideways at the man sitting next to him. The southerner was occupied with typing things out on a computer that was laid on his lap and he never looked up and the curios soldier. 

“We are going to the base of operation for the Project Freelancer, the Mother of Invention ship. You were chosen to take place in the project because of your exceptional performances during the war so far.” The Counselor smiled at him again and it sent a shiver down David’s spine. 

“So what can I expect from this project exactly?” he was glad his voice sounded more collected than he felt. ‘Great, secret military projects. What else is going to happen today, maybe I’ll get hit by a car again. Or we our ship will plummet through the air...I should of stayed in high school.’ 

“You will be assigned a code name which will become your name for the rest of your time in the project. Your position will no longer be lieutenant, you and the others in the project are all agents. You will train together, eat together, and you will become a cohesive strategic special ops team. Do you understand?” The Counselor said this all robotically, he obviously wasn't the first soldier put into this project. He just nodded his head and sat silently. 

When the first man snapped the computer shut made David jump slightly and looked at him wide eyed. 

“Counselor please send word to Mother of Invention that we have obtained the Agent and will be expecting another agent to be there to receive us and guide our Agent Washington.” The Counselor nodded and stood to head back to the cockpit to relay the message. 

“Agent Washington, sir?” David spoke up again

“Yes, Washington. That is where you are from is it not?” He was glared at again, which made David nod. “You are not that child from Foster Care anymore, Washington. You are now an Agent of Project Freelancer, I expect you to respond when I talk to you understood, Agent?” 

David...Washington nodded his head slowly, but made a clear statement of “Yes, sir.” When his nod received a raised eyebrow. He twisted his hands before looking back at the man with the goatee “Sir, won't people have a problem with me being so young?”

“Agent, a punk kid from foster care signing up at sixteen to play soldier does not make news. Your paperwork says you are twenty-four, so you are twenty four.” He was told to tell anyone who asks that he is what his documents say he is and not to ask anymore about the matter. It was a few hours until they landed on the ship he would call home and Washington was more anxious now than when he was sitting in front of the court martials. 

“Wait here, Agent Washington. Someone shall be along shortly to assist you.” He was still in his formal uniform before he was left on the landing bay by the man who saved him from prison and the Counselor. He shifted back and forth in his spot watching the commotion of the landing bay. Soldiers and engineers running around, some barking orders and others following. 

He took some time to collect his thoughts, in one day he went from a Lieutenant about to be dishonorably discharged and sent to prison to some kind of secret government project agent. And people said military life was boring, he kind of wishes those people were right. The doors leading into the bay slid open and two people in armor walked inside, they had their helmets of and were talking animatedly with each other. The taller one was in tan armor with grey accents, Washington could see that the person was male, he was also using his hands to emphasize whatever it was he was telling his companion. Said companion was about a foot shorter than the male in tan, Washington thought it was a woman but couldn't tell from so far away. She had a dark brown armor that looked much bulkier than the tan. They were walking towards some crates near a parked ship when he was caught staring at them. 

The one in the brown armor stopped talking and frowned and lifted her chin in his direction. Washington made a quiet groan to himself at being caught by what he assumed were his ‘fellow agents’ who are probably not going to take kindly to being stared at. The taller agent in tan then turned around to see what his companion had pointed out and gave Washington a quizzical look. He said something to the shorter one and they both started walking towards him. 

“Hey there soldier, what can we help you with.” The taller one asked, as he got closer Washington got a better look at him. His brown hair was spiked in the front and cut shorter in the back. He had what Washington could tell was a placating smile. They were both giving him a once over and the shorter one, who was definitely a girl, looked at him like he was a lost child.   
No matter what anyone said he was not a lost child, no matter how panicked he felt right now.

“I was told to wait here.” He admitted to the senior agents. 

“Who told you that?” The guy asked looking around to see if there was an engineer looking for a new recruit or something. 

“The Counsellor and a man with a goatee.” Washington knew his voice probably sounded as confused as he felt, he just hoped they didn't guess he was kind of terrified to be in the spotlight like he was at this very moment. Being the center of anyone’s attention was not his strong point.

“Goatee...did he have a southern accent too?” Washington just nodded and they both made a sound signalling they had one of those ‘aha’ moments that his old platoon mate used to tell him about. “That was The Director, so you must be the newbie. Well, I am Agent York and this is Agent Connecticut or Connie.” The two looked more relaxed as they realized that he was the new agent they were obviously told that was going to be coming in. York struck his hand out, the grin on his face looked far more friendly to him now, he gave it one firm shake and nodded greeting to Connie. 

“I’m Da-..uh..Agent Washington.” He quickly fixed his slip up and they both chuckled at him. 

“You’ll get used to it, nice to have you aboard Wash.” Connie said and gave him a light punch to his shoulder. He nervously laughed with them and felt his face split into an uneasy smile as they told him that they would show him to where he could pick out his own Freelancer Armor and then around the Mother of Invention. 

Maybe this place wouldn’t be too horrible. 

\----------------------

After a year and half of being a Freelancer Wash couldn't really picture doing much else with his life. His fellow Freelancers were an interesting bunch, never a truly dull day unless you were the only one not on a mission. Which doesn't happen very often, though Wash wish it did to save him on trips to the ship’s ER. He hadn’t been shot this much when he was a regular front line soldier. Not to mention the scars he now had thanks to a few assholes who got close to him and happened to have knives in their hands. 

Yeah that was a downside of being a Freelancer. 

He might as well having to lie about how old he really is but that barely ever comes up in conversation unless its York using his fake age to tease Connie about she was the ‘youngest’ at twenty four years old. He never really answered York when he asked, making non committal sounds at him placates the brunette man usually anyway. 

“Speaking of the devil and you’ll see him” Wash thought as he walked into the mess hall, York was with the others and he was waving his hands around and grinning like a mad man, “This should be good.” 

Wash walked up silently while York went on his tirade about everyone’s leave day that was coming up the weekend. To Wash’s knowledge it was the first time since he joined the whole team had a leave day together. He had heard Wyoming talking to Florida about it, those two had decided to use their short ‘vacation’ doing something that they wouldn't tell him about. Weirdos. He set his tray in front of him and sat down across from South, she nodded at him and went back to arguing about what they’d all do on leave. 

At a much later point Washington wished he had been better attention to the conversation. Instead he had been contemplating having to get a new twisting straw since Maine broke his last one. How was he supposed to know Maine could break plastic with two fingers, what the hell is he, the Incredible Hulk? Stupid super strength Maine and his need for juice. In all honesty Maine had not meant to break the straw but it still irked Wash he had to beg 479er to pick him up new ones when she went on leave, since she had twice as many days off than the Freelancers did. 

“....and we can all get totally wasted at that club I saw last time, right Wash?” York’s voice drifted into his thought process but not enough to get his full attention, and that truly was where Washington cursed himself. 

“I can’t go drinking I’m underage….wait...shit.” The words were out before he could stop them and he hated himself a bit more. The quiet that followed the statement from the other Freelancers made Washington sweat and shift in his seat. “I mean...I don't like drinking?” 

He turned his head and his entire team was staring at him, some had their mouths open and nearly all of them had a look of confusion. Carolina’s eyes were glaring a hole in his head when he met them and her icy voice was what told Washington he would never hear the end of this as long as he lived “You’re what Agent Washington? And do not. Lie. To. Me.” 

Their eyes all watched him as he shifted in his seat again and gulped. York looked like he was still processing what he had said, North had gone quiet, Connie and South were both slowly starting to grin, Maine was just frowning at him. 

“I’m….under drinking age…?” He didn't mean to make it sound like a question but Carolina kind of terrified him when she looked at literally anyone like she was looking at him right now. 

“Explain. Now.” The order was clear from his team leader’s mouth. She wasn't going to let him out from under her interrogation until he admitted the truth. All of it. 

Fuck. 

“From the beginning?” He asked nervously. Carolina responded with a crisp nod of her head. “I dropped out of high school at sixteen and join the army, when they found out I was going to be court martialed until the Director kinda swooped in and brought me here.” 

“Soooo how old are you then, since you’ve only been here for what? Eighteen months?” York asked, apparently the only brave to break the silence that followed his admittance. North had actually just lowered his face into both of his hands. South was trying to contain her laughter and Connie had turned her shit eating grin onto Wash.

“Nineteen.”

South finally let her laughter go and nearly doubled over laughing, York eventually joining her. Connie was saying something about getting Wash back for letting York tease her about age these past few months while she laughed with the other two. Maine looked like he was contemplating something, Carolina looked like she was going to rip someone (“Hopefully anyone but me” Wash thought) a new one. North’s shoulders were visibly shaking and he was mumbling something into his hands. 

South patted him on the back “Breath bro, remember to breath” she told him in between her laughter. That made North shoot up from his seat, his face was contorted into a mixture of anger and horror and yelled at the laughing agents “Jesus fucking Christ stop laughing! WE LET HIM HAVE A GUN. WE LET HIM GET SHOT AT. I MEAN WE MIGHT AS WELL BE CARRYING A FUCKING INFANT ON OUR BACKS! THIS IS SERIOUS, HE’S A CHILD STOP LAUGHING. JESUS CHRIST WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY!” 

North’s rampage and yelling had them all quiet, all Freelancers present staring at North in awe. Washington cringed when he realized he just painted a target on himself for Mama Hen North’s paternal fury. 

No one spoke for a few minutes, until a cough broke the silence and they all slowly to who made the noise. Wyoming and Florida both stood at the end of their table, Florida looked like he was ready to back away from them all. North still looked a little red faced. Wyoming was probably pondering at their mental health at that moment but he none the less made another point, 

“Do not forget stabbed, almost thrown into deep space, multiple broken bones, and all those instances with the cars.” Wyoming nodded his head and turned, for a beat nothing happened. 

“OH MY GOD HE’S RIGHT, WE ALMOST KILLED A CHILD!”   
Washington groaned and let his head hit the mess hall table, “I should've let them send me to prison, prison HAS to be better.”


End file.
